My developers are so cool!

General 1 Comment

Yesterday I sent all my developers an e-mail with an unusual message. The entire message said only:

SELECT developerName, dayOfWeek FROM Developers WHERE regularTeleworkSchedule = 1;

To my utter delight, I received the following responses:

“1 result returned
[name removed], Tuesday”

“(0 row(s) affected)”

“developerName               dayOfWeek
————–          —————
[name removed]               Tue”

“0 rows fetched”

“It’s on Thursday”

My developers are so awesome! Every one of them knew exactly what I was asking for and they all returned some kind of answer. Although the guy who wrote “It’s on Thursday” didn’t keep with the spirit of the message.

So for those who would like to know what the message said, it is a database query that basically asks “If anyone has a regular telework day, please send me your name and what day you telework on.” But I liked my method much better!

The NEW LDS Articles of Faith (humor)

General 1 Comment

I was sent this list through office e-mail. I though it was funny enough to share.

1. We believe in SUVs and minivans, as the form of transportation, and in knee length shorts, which are always nice, and in the multilevel marking.

2. We believe that church ball players should be punished for their own fouls, and not for unsportsmanlike aggression.

3. We believe that through bread crumbs, cheese, creamy soups, and rice all casseroles can be saved-though obedience to ward cookbooks and creativity in the mixing bowl.

4. We believe that the first layers and ingredients of the Dip are: first, beans; second, cheese; third, chopped tomatoes; fourth, the gift of sour cream; fifth, olives; sixth, salsa; seventh, guacamole-that is, if you have it.

5. We believe that a Mormon should have a distinguished or a cute name, that it is appropriate to name a child after a church leader or a historical figure including an ancestor, that alternative spellings and French prefixes only add to a name, and that when referring to the names of General Authorities, middle initials should be a part thereof.

6. We believe in the same wall decor that exists in many Mormon homes, namely, framed family proclamations, vinyl lettering, inspirational word signs, family photos, pictures of temples and Jesus, and so forth.

7. We believe in the gift of the re-gift, church books, crafts, family photos, baked goods, emergency supply kits, and so forth.

8. We believe in sparkling grape juice so long as it is nonalcoholic; we also believe in bringing root beer and sprite to ward parties.

9. We believe in all that we have scrapbooked, all that we will now scrapbook, and we believe that we will yet scrapbook many great and important things pertaining to our family, friends, pets, and vacations.

10. We believe in the literal mixing of ketchup and mayo and in the generous application of ranch dressing; that CBAs (church-based acronyms) will be used to describe YM/YW, PEC, the Y, NCMO, and CTR; that Mitt Romney will get Mormons to vote for him any time he runs; and, that the Mormons will enjoy reading Twilight and The Work and the Glory.d
11. We claim the privilege of trying to identify common acquaintances with any visitor at church, and allow all other people at church the same privilege, and let them name drop the names of FaMos and general authorities how, where, or what they may.

12. We believe in being subject to scoutmasters, pampered chef hostesses, and the writers of the U.S. News and World Report Rankings for professional schools, and in obeying, honoring, and sustaining Glenn Beck.

13. We believe in being above average, good at crafts, optimistic, and being fifteen minutes late everywhere we go. Indeed, we may say that we follow BYU football. We believe rumors about famous people joining the church, we hope to meet the three Nephites, we have endured many pyramid schemes, and hope to be able to endure all pyramid schemes. If there is anything cheap, free, sold in bulk, or given away when somebody is moving, we seek after these things.

I Love All Things ATARI

General 2 Comments

For whatever reason I love all things ATARI. Not that ATARI of today which just does video games but rather the ATARI that intoduced the first home gaming console, the first round of 8-bit home computers and even their 16-bit computers. As my wife will remind me from time to time I have a collection of ATARI 8-bit and 16-bit hardware in my basement that she would consider huge but I consider modest.

I still have all my old computers, my floppy disks, joysticks, tape player (used for storage) and different disk drives. It’s funny to think that my USB drive that I carry in my pocket is big enough to store 46,000 ATARI floppy disks. My how times change.

I keep intending to finish my ATARI collection. I’m missing an ATARI 1200XL which was the computer I always longed for. I also don’t have a Happy Enhancement on any of my drives. I also keep intending on hauling out my old ATARI 800 and plugging it into my TV and play Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves.

I was super excited that there is an ATARI 800 emulator for the Wii (by way of the Homebrew channel). So now I need to transfer my floppy disks to images I can manage using today’s storage. Us used to have an APE cable that I build myself but now I’ve found an SIO2SD that looks like the way to go. I’m just trying to decide if I should buy it and transfer my games and data.

Just as a point of interest, at work the cover of my “work notebook” is a color print of Atari Age magazine featuring the Swordquest scene. The icon on my home coputer that I use for my windows badge is the ATARI logo. If I ever got a tattoo (which I won’t) it would be an ATARI symbol. I guess I’m a pretty big fan, eh?