World War II – The Chat Log

General No Comments

If World War Two had been an Real Time Strategy game, it would have gone a little something like this….

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this ****in sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the **** up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is ****in weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bull**** u maggot ridden poop heads im gunna kick ur butts
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little
slime ball ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge ****in army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bull**** u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u
buttmunch!! WE HAD A ****IN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right
slime ball im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be a
buttmunch
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh **** help
Hitler: o man ur ****ed
paTTon: oh what now
slime ball
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my… ****!
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say
a different naughty word lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun
buttmunch
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are ****in
maggot ridden poop heads
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: **** u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: **** this **** im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is
Lame
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: **** now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be a
maggot ridden poop head gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u ****in suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dum
my
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: **** u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all
maggot ridden poop heads
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o ****!
*paTTon has left the game.*

My Router Died -or- How To Live Without The Internet

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Last Saturday I decided I had time to troubleshoot a problem I’ve been having with my phone. I use a VOIP service from ViaTalk that I’m very happy with. But it means that occasionally I have to reboot equipment if things start to degrade in quality. I don’t mind. I’m saving a ton of money and sticking to the (Qwest) Man!

So I was having Quality of Service (QoS) problems where I could hear what people say just fine (indicating that my download speed was fine) but they said my voice was all choppy (indicating a problem with upload speed). So first I ran a speed test to see what my upload/download speeds were. I was getting about 4 Mbps download and about 450 kbps upload, which is more than enough for a good call.

I rebooted my VOIP box and that didn’t help. So then I turened to my QoS setting on my Linksys WRT54G v8 router running DD-WRT v24 SP1 (which is all fancy talk meaning I’m running replacement firmware on my router that is the latest full release). The screen in the browser looked messed up. All the sections where there but there were no graphics–all text based. Kind of a minimal interface. I didn’t think about it at the time.

I went into the QoS settings and found that they were set wrong. My main LAN is on port 1 and my VOIP box is on port 2. Port 1 was set to “exempt” and port 2 was set to “normal”. I changed the settings to what they should be: Port 1 – Normal, Port 2 – Priority. I hit “save and apply” and the web page never reloaded.

I had to go into the basement to see what was going on. The Linksys router had 4 green lights on, one for each network port. What should happen is the power light comes on, and I see link activity on the different ports. But I didn’t see that, just the 4 green lights. That was it. I power cycled the router. Same. I reset the router. Same result. I super reset the router. Same result. I attached a notebook directly to the device and unplugged it from the rest of the network. Same result. In the end I concluded that the screen anomoly I saw and the QoS settings that were wrong were indicators of a failure.

I now belive the device to be “bricked.”

My cable modem still worked so I was faced with a decision. I could hook up ONE device to my cable modem. What would it be? I decided to hook up the phone because one computer on the Internet was as bad as no computers on the Internet. I need at least two computers on the Internet an a WAP working for basic needs. I had no other NAT devices… or did I?

I still had my old Smoothwall firewall. I thought I could just hook that baby up and buy me some time to figure out what I really wanted. Turns out the reason I went with the Linksys and DD-WRT was because my Smoothwall firewall machine died. I only remembered that after about 30 minutes of cursing and my wife reminded me. So back to having only one device on the network. I went with the phone.

I lasted until about 8 PM that night without Internet and then I decided that as the man of the house and provider I HAD to restore service. So I went to my parents house a few blocks away and looked up the list of campatible devices for DD-WRT and cross-referenced them with models sold at Best Buy and Circuit City.

I quickly decided NOT to go with Circuit City because if I had to return the item Circuit City would probably be out of business. I stuck with Best Buy. It came down to two models: the WRT310N ($130) and the WRT54G2 ($54). The WRT310N has 4 MB of flash memory so I would be able to run a better version of DD-WRT. But the WRT54G2 was cheaper and I’ve been running fine off the micro version of DD-WRT.

My wife said I should get the more expensive one because it probably has more advanced features and, to quote her, “you are an Advanced Features kind of guy.” I was sold. I drove to Best Buy.

But while I was standing there looking at the two models I began to have doubts. This is not unusual for me. I vet on things all the time. I came up with a plan that I believe is good.

I bought the WRT54G2 and then went home and looked online for a cheaper supplier of the WRT310N. What I found was that I could get a WRT350N for $75 on a Buy It Now on eBaY (with my coupon and free shipping). The WRT350N has 8 MB of flash memory so I can run any version of DD-WRT that I want AND it comes with a USB port so I can plug in my USB external hard drive and use it as a file server.

When the WRT350N comes I’ll return the WRT54G2. I feel pretty good about it. And I have Internet access right now.

Man, those were a boring 10 hours on Saturday without Internet access! I never realized how much my kids play online.

An Awkward Moment

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Each year in December (and this year in November due to my brother’s wedding next Saturday) the Carson family gets together for a Carson Christmas Party. Normally there are about 40 people who come this party but this year we have about 65.

The format of the party has changed over the years. When I was little we met at the Lehi Riding Club in Lehi, Utah. There would be food, dancing (although I don’t remember this) and singing. The kids would usually run down the street to play at the Lehi Roundup stadium. Eventually, we bacame too big for the Lehi Riding Club, which is only about the size of a garrage.

For many years now we meet in Salt Lake in the gymnasium of my parent’s church house. This is a large area the size of a basketball court with a stage and kitchen attached. We sit a one end of the gym and the kids play at the other end. It’s always surprising how much fun kids can have just running around.

My uncle, Leo, has brought small rubber bouncy balls the past few years and gives one to each kid. The kids love the throw these things around and chase them. It keeps the kids busy so the grownups can talk.

So I’m standing there talking to my cousin, David, and I see tha my son (age 7) has just put his ball in his pockets and has taken another kid’s ball and is putting it in his pocket and pretending that he doesn’t have it. The other kids is getting upset. So I yell (not loudly, but so he can hear me over the din) “I see what you have in your pants there. I want to you take those balls out of your pants.”

My son yells at the top of his lungs “Oh yeah?!?! You keep YOUR balls in YOUR pants!” Everyone heard. I just about died. My cousin couldn’t help laughing. It was his attempt to argue with me but it just came out wrong.

How embarassing.