Bill Collecting Strategies

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I heard a good story today from Rob Carly, our Transportation Director. He told the following story of when he sat next to a lady who did collections at a previous company.

The story came about because of a phone call I had with Rob yesterday where he ended the conversation with “I love you” and hung up. I’ve heard other people say this out of habit when they are talking on the phone and not paying a lot of attention. Now the story.

So this lady calls a business who is past due on about $8,000. She calls the company and leaves the following voice mail message:

“Mr. Dixon, this is Beverly from [company]. You are now past due on the eight grand you owe us. Call me as soon as possible — in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

As soon as she hung up the phone Rob stood up and looked over the wall at her cubicle and asked “did you just say what I think you said?” Beverly sat very still with a look of terror on her face realizing what she had done. They both decided not to call back and apologize.

Mr. Dixon returned the call very promptly and said “Well, if you are going to bring Jesus into this I guess I better pay you right away.”

I wonder what other funny things people have said out of habit? I’ m sure my friend, Craig, has lots of stories like this!


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Waking up to an alarm clock is a jarring experience. Eventually we all seem to reach the point where we can turn off the alarm and go back to sleep without ever properly waking up in the first place. Waking up to a crying baby is even more jarring! What we all like is to be awakened naturally, by having deep and strong desires stir us in sensuous ways so we wake with lust and hunger for — bacon!

Bacon. Another miracle pork product. I’ve always wondered why the pork association of America, you know, the ones that made that slogan “Pork, the other white meat” did choose something better like “Pork, the amazing meat” or “Pork, what can’t it do?” Nevertheless, bacon is just one of the many wonderful products the magical pig gives man.

Just last week I was awakened to the sweet smell of bacon cooking and it was a delightful experience. Now Matty Sallin has created a device to do just that on a daily basis. Introducing: Wake n’ Bacon!

The Wake n’ Bacon is a traditional alarm clock with a twist. At the appointed time, an oven turns on and cooks a strip of bacon, wafting the smell through the house to wake you from sleep. Not only is it a nice way to wake up, but then you get to eat the bacon! And what could be better that that? An all-you-can-eat bacon breakfast buffet — of course! But a bacon alarm clock is pretty good in itself.

Farewell, Colin!

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Today I said goodbye to a good friend of mine, Colin Orr. I first met Colin about 8 years ago when I moved into my new house and his advice and friendship have been very much appreciated ever since. Colin recently moved to a larger house that will better accommodate his needs and growing family.

I think Colin is another victim of the “4th East Curse.” The 4th East Curse, as I have named it, states that the further west you are from 400 East, the more likely you are to move. It seems that people who live on or East of 400 East seem to move far less often. I suppose it’s not really a curse but more of a corollary.

Colin is one of the many readers of Peregrine Findings and I happy to know that I’ll still have some contact with him — even if it simply through this blog. So I guess it’s not so much as goodbye as “we’ll talk to you later.”

But I wanted to say thanks for all the help, advice, friendship and kindness he has shown myself and my family!

Patentable Idea #26: Predictive Writing

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Last night I had a dream that Google came out with a Microsoft Word plugin that would look at the text you are writing and would bring up other relative works that could be used to cross reference and to quote from automatically. It was targeted at Universities and anyone doing research papers.

It was based on Google’s Sets — and other proprietary Google searching algorithems. So imagine you are writing a proposal to give your boss on switching from Microsoft Windows to Linux within your company. As you type, hyperlinks and article extracts start to appear in the tool-bar window next to your propoasal that talk about switching from Windows to Linux and you can conveniently then cut and paste quotes and other references from those works. Suddenly your megear proposal is full of Gardner Group articles and other professional journal references to support your idea.

I think it would be cool.

WordPress Upgrade

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As you can plainly see, I have upgraded my blogging software to the latest version of WordPress. I’m terribly disappointed that I’ve had to leave all my customizations behind but the scourge of comment spam had become such a blight upon me that there was little choice.

I suppose that now that I’ve upgraded you will all have to submit comments and I’ll have to approve them again so you can post — at least I hope you will have to.

The typography of this theme isn’t the greatest and I’ve lost my custom graphics (both of which are things I’m sad about). But I’m sure it is for the best.

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